You spot it , you got it.

Posted November 7th, 2011 by Jack and filed in Uncategorized

Why do coaches coach? What’s in it for me to coach?.

Simply put, I get more out of it than I put into it.

I learn something from every client I work with. I get to live out my purpose of service when I work with clients. I end up a better person after I coach a client.

One of the specific actions I do with my clients is to hold a vision for them that is larger than the one they hold for themselves.

What this looks like is that I am able to see their greatness, the individualized human spirit within my client. I have the joy of looking at them and seeing their radiance and gifts shining bright from beneath the thin grimy film of their doubts and fears. When you are able to look past that thin veneer, you see their joy, passion, magnificence.

Trust me, it’s there if you look with your heart as well as your eyes. In fact, it is easy to see.

One of our own Dream Coaches®, Kelley Moore, even named her business with this: http://www.seeyourpossibilities.com/

So here is the joy for me in seeing your greatness: If I see it in you, that means I have it in myself as well.

This phenomenon goes by the highly technical term of “You spot it, you got it.” When we are inspired by something in others, when we feel it deeply in ourselves, we are awakening that within ourselves. Sort of like we see someone’s courage and our own courage wakes up and starts vibrating at the same frequency.

You do the same thing all the time when you compassionately listen to someone and their pain touches you. It works exactly the same for the good stuff. Ever feel joy or been moved to tears at a concert? Same thing on a group level. You spot it, ie feel it within yourself when you see or hear it, you have it within yourself.

The very act of listening with your heart and connecting with the greatness inside is rewarding for me. I practice this learn-able skill with my clients all the time. This skill helps me see past the illusions and doubts of my own. And for those times when I don’t see it in myself? I work with my own coach for exactly the same reasons. My coach serves the role of my believing eyes until my vision clears and I see it again for myself.

So let’s practice today right now. Have you seen or felt some greatness, courage, or inspiration in someone else today? Look around until you do.
Then use those same loving, believing eyes to see it in yourself. You can borrow my believing eyes until yours clear up.

Warmly,
Jack

Choosing Joy

Posted October 30th, 2011 by Jack and filed in Uncategorized

It’s the journey, not the destination.  Same journey, different results.  Here is my Do Over on a mountain bike.

Two mountain bike rides, one Saturday, one Sunday. Mostly the same route, home to climbing up the fire road in the redwoods, single track (Sunday only), and back to the fire road to the bottom again.

Same road and trails, angry frustrated and denied on Saturday, Sunday was a joy. What happened?
Saturday climbed to the top and started down the single track. A mechanical problem with the seat post adjuster ( risk of the saddle flying up and hitting me in the family jewels) denied me the single track back down. I was grumpy, angry, angry at the designer of the seat post, angry I had paid to have it fixed and it broke again, angry for being inconvenienced, angry at having to take time to go to the bike store and possibly have to wait for my bike to be repaired, angry angry angry.

I took the fire road back down and resented having to do so.

Sunday, I took part of that same fire road back down and was grateful. What happened? What was the difference?

Saturday night I came home, had dinner, spent some lovely time with my wife, and then prepared to do honorable battle with the seat adjuster. As a point of pride, I have a mechanical engineering degree and 20 plus years experience. So I was going to put on my engineer’s hat and figure it out or else. Cleaned, lubricated, and tightened it back up and it works fine. So I took it riding on Sunday.

Sunday, same route up the hill, met someone at the top I had not seen in 10 years, had a pleasant gab, and started down the single track I was denied the day before. Bliss! And oh, by the way, it was getting very dark in the redwoods at dusk. So dark I was having a hard time seeing the trail. Made some turns and found myself back on the fire road about halfway down. Only this time, I was grateful because it was getting too dark to see the single track with all the trees and narrow passages. I think taking the fire road saved me from crashing and having a really bad night in the darkening forest alone and injured. So I rode that same fire road as the day before and was happy to be there.

What was the difference? Attitude. What one day seemed like a good ride ruined was a wise choice the next. Literally a fork in the road. Could I have enjoyed the ride just as much the first day? Yes. Who really denied me the joy? I did, by my choices and attitude.

How much of life is like that? Same road, different attitude. Where in your life can you shift your attitude for the same journey? Where can you choose joy?

Jack

Living Your Purpose

Posted October 24th, 2011 by Jack and filed in Uncategorized

Let’s talk about living your purpose. This is step 3 in the Dream Coaching® process.

I have two clients who recently discovered their purpose and are concerned that they won’t be able to live into it. I faced the same concern myself when I discovered my own purpose. It is a very typical phenomenon and tends to run with the territory.

The common thread was that their job (and my job at the time) would not allow them to live out their purpose explicitly. One client used to have a job that allowed them to live their purpose from time to time, the other does not.
The good news is that the answer to the so called problem is the same in all cases. Here is the good news:

You can live out your purpose in almost any situation if you are willing to stand up and be your authentic self. It does not have to be your job title, is is who you are and what you do. If your purpose is to inspire people, a purpose I share with at least one client, then you can inspire people in nearly every circumstance just by being authentic, honest, and keeping in alignment with your values and truth. The inspiring part will simply shine through you. If you are willing to take a few moments and really connect with someone, the odds increase you can live your purpose in your day to day activity.

What daily activities can you think of that serve your purpose? How about a simple smile and small act of kindness for openers?

Warmly,

Jack

Song and Dance

Posted October 9th, 2011 by Jack and filed in Uncategorized

I have been enjoying a constant refrain lately, “I’m getting myself free.” And Boy, did I ever.

From last week, one self imposed limitation I was able to release and be free of was dancing. Or rather the limiting belief that I was a nerd and therefore did not dance. I found so much freedom while at Inspiring Speaker that somewhere out there is a cell phone video of me dancing on the chair in a restaurant with 30 of my close Dream Coach buddies at dinner. I even did a little spotlight solo by dancing up the stairs and calling all sorts of attention to myself. Not bad for a FORMER Nerd!

So this week, in a resonating effect, comes singing. Another week of Vocal Awareness practice, then comes the chance to sing at church. In May, I heard a woman, Ena Vie, sing to us with what felt like the voice of an angel. I bought her albums and put her song, Earth Prayer, on my ipod. I listen to it about 5 days a week as the start of my meditation and spiritual practice. Figure I have heard it at least 100 times by now.

Yesterday, Ena Vie  was back at church. So I stood up as part of the congregation, and sang with her. I sang badly, voice a bit overcome with emotion and gratitude. But I sang anyway. Loud and proud, daring to be heard. Not yet with the freedom I felt dancing, but definitely on the way. I also got to talk with Ena and let her know how much it meant to me to be able to sing with her. It was like her as the creator and me as the created. Her music and grace suffused into me and back out again into the world. She got to know the impact of her work; that was my gift back to her for the impact she had on me.

As promised, I returned to my theme and executed: “I’m getting myself free, and I’m taking you with me.”
We are all getting ourselves free, bit by bit, and by sharing our journeys, we are taking each other with us.

How have you gotten your self free lately?

Jack

Dance Fever!

Posted October 2nd, 2011 by Jack and filed in Uncategorized

This is the week after Inspiring Speaker workshop I attended in San Francisco.

I have been enjoying a constant refrain lately, “I’m getting myself free.” And Boy, did I ever.

One self imposed limitation I was able to release and be free of was dancing. Or rather the limiting belief that I was a nerd and therefore did not dance. I found so much freedom while at the Inspiring Speaker workshop that somewhere out there is a cell phone video of me dancing on the chair in a restaurant with 30 of my close Dream Coach buddies at dinner. I even did a little spotlight solo by dancing up the stairs and calling all sorts of attention to myself. Not bad for a FORMER Nerd!

What I learned that I can share is this: Once you get that you are not your ego, that you are so much more. When you reclaim your Soul and your birthright of connection to the world, placating your ego can feel effortless. There was an easy feeling of complete courage, as if I could not fail. I gave myself permission to look and act like a complete fool. The freedom to allow myself full self expression was priceless. I did not die, I had fun, I got positive feedback for my energy and vitality. The actual risk was exactly zero.
Fifty years of not dancing, shy dancing, negative self talk about being a bad dancer vanished.
We had so much fun that night about 10 of us arranged a flash mob for the next day. We got permission (there’s that word again) to break out into a dance just before the afternoon speaker. So I found myself dancing from the back of the room up to the front and leading my tribe in the disco song YMCA .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

Not only self permission to dance but I took a leadership position and was holding the space for others to dance.

As promised, I returned to my theme and executed:
“I’m getting myself free, and I’m taking you with me.”

We are all getting ourselves free, and by sharing our journeys, we are taking each other with us.

How have you gotten your self free lately? Can you take me with you?

Warmly,
Jack

I’m getting myself free, and I’m taking you with me

Posted September 18th, 2011 by Jack and filed in Uncategorized

I see having an inspiring message as having two main components. One is that you did something difficult, or arduous, survived a trial of some sort. The second part is that you want to tell others they can do it too.

I call it the healing and the calling. The healing is when you come to grips with the fact you are not your old story or limitations. You recognize something bigger than your ego defined self. In a single sentence “I’m getting myself free.”
The calling is when you realize you must share that healing as a possibility for others. You realize the next step is to make that truth known and available to others. You feel called to share the good news. In a single sentence, “And I’m taking you with me.”

Put together the message in its essence is,
“I’m getting myself free, and I’m taking you with me.”

As a returning attendee of an Inspiring Speaker workshop, I remember being impacted by the inspiring stories my fellow attendees. There is a theory in personal transformation that says if you see something in another person, you have that trait or characteristic yourself. If you spot it, you got it.
So I could say, with equal authority,
“You’re getting yourself free and your taking you with me.”

We are all getting ourselves free, and by sharing our journeys, we are taking each other with us.

Love is all there is

Posted September 11th, 2011 by Jack and filed in Uncategorized

Love is all there is.

The appropriate response to loss is grief. The media has been saturating us with replays of the 9/11 attacks tenth anniversary. Grief may still be an appropriate response.

The appropriate response (in the long term) to anger is forgiveness. This one is a bit tougher.

Underlying both healing processes, there is only love.

The high cost of our anger and disproportionate response to 9/11 is here: The Dead, the Dollars, the Drones: 9/11 Era by the Numbers

For every two US civilians who died in the attack on September 11, 2001, we sent 3 US soldiers to their death in Iraq. For every two US civilians who died on September 11, 10 to 100 Iraqis are estimated to have been killed. Six trillion dollars military spending since then, or $20,000 for each person in the US. How many dreams could that have financed?

There is an extremely personal cost to anger as well. For decades, my personal anger issues cost me happiness and damaged my relationships. A friend of mine, Lynn Wagner, lost two daughters to a drunk driver. Imagine her grief and anger over that.

Here’s the good news. Grief passes with time. Anger is heal-able. I know this and so does Lynn.
Lynn’s story of forgiveness starts at 21:18 in the video

Lynn’s story of forgiveness as a news text article.

When the grief is dissipated and the anger healed, love is all there is.

With a healed heart and my dreams intact, Jack

The teacher becomes the student.

Posted September 4th, 2011 by Jack and filed in Uncategorized

It’s Monday, Sep 5, 2011.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. ~Doug Larson

Sometimes the teacher becomes the student.

A Dream Coaching client of mine became my teacher today.

She wanted to be a life coach but did not think it was possible. We discovered her purpose, explored her doubter and limiting beliefs, and developed a strategy for her to open her own life coaching business.

She emailed me last week and told me she had over a thousand hits on her new coaching website! So I had to ask her how she did it. It turns out a person who previously thought of herself as having nothing of interest to say became a networking tiger! Your Best Life Coaching

I found myself being astounded at the success of her website and networking. So I had to become a student of hers and how she exploded onto the web.

I love it when I get to empower a client to this level.  Who is next?

Elemental

Posted July 31st, 2011 by Jack and filed in Uncategorized

As I posted on Aug 1, 2011 on my Dream University weekly column.

Welcome to Dream University It’s Monday, Aug 1, 2011.

Every now and then I run into words so powerful they stop me dead in my tracks, flow into my ears, and exit as tears recognizing their truth.

Such happened to me a week ago.

“There has never been a wave
That would stop dead in its tracks
To ask if the sand was worthy of being wet…”

Thump. Right in my chest. Having wrestled with the limiting belief I did not belong in this world and was not worthy of love, these words said it so clearly. The elements of nature do not question their purpose in the universe. Where do we lose our way and even begin to question ours?

Lex, the author and performer of these words, presents her spoken word version here: http://www.lexisword.com/Lexisword/Spoken_Word/Entries/2011/4/26_The_Least_of_these.html

“What elemental cause is there to explain
The devotion of a domesticated flame
To the heat of the sun?
It’s as simple as this
They never question if they are the same
Not a breeze that can be told
It has never kissed the desert
Or stirred the leaves in forgotten groves
When she was the breath of a passing storm
For the love of the earth
Comes the wind and the rain
Burns the fire and rises the mountain
And not one wonders who loves the earth better
For all remain in service to creation
So to like the fire, wind or a drop of rain
Have we appeared in this time and space
As elemental as love and as divine as light
And yet some have chosen to close their eyes”

When was the grief stricken moment we closed our eyes? Bought into a false belief of our place in the world? When did we surrender our Divinely given power in exchange for a lie?

I can’t tell you the exact moment I surrendered mine. But I can tell you exactly when I exchanged that limiting belief for more empowering one.

During the Dream Coach Certification in July 2009, I wrote out a new empowering belief. “I stand in my power.” I let it sit for a day and then amended it to, “I stand in my power and grace.”

The liberating truth is you can change your limiting belief in a moment.

I did it. And so can you.

I’m getting myself free. And I’m taking you with me.

Warmly,

Jack Kellythorne Community Council Member, Certified Dream Coach®, and Inspiring Listener

For July 4, 2011

Posted July 2nd, 2011 by Jack and filed in Uncategorized

Independence Day in the USA.

“We on this continent should never forget that men first crossed the Atlantic not to find soil for their plows but to secure liberty for their souls.” ~Robert J. McCracken

I’m not who I thought I was. And neither are you.
I’m getting myself free. And I’m taking you with me.

Independence day for our souls.

I’m not my beliefs. I’m not my limitations. I’m not my story. I’m not my history. I’m not my drama or my trauma. I’m not my habits or my behaviors.

I’m not my wounds. I’m not my resentments or trespasses. I’m not my education. I’m not my career. I’m not my marriage or relationships. I’m not my successes or failures. I’m not my feelings and emotions. I’m not my triumphs or tragedies. And neither are you.

I am not a human being having a spiritual experience. And neither are you.

I am a spiritual being having a human experience. And so are you.

I am the vessel or context in which all the above human experiences happen. These events shape me, they do not define me. They are life lessons, looping around in an ever increasing helix where I am more able to be myself with each passing cycle.

I claim my independence from ego concerns and embrace my true nature. And so can you. Spiritual perfection as embodied in an imperfect human experience.

The more often I remember this truth, the more free I become.

I’m getting myself free.

And I’m taking you with me.