Physician, heal thyself.
I coach my clients to engage in compassion for themselves and self care. Saturday, I was reminded to do that for myself.
I had some experiences at work that triggered some old emotional reactions and patterns. I had previously committed myself to refraining from behaving badly based on the triggering incidents, but I was upset and angry at myself for getting angry and upset in the first place.
My pastor describes the process as a helix or spiral. You think you may be finished or complete with a piece of inner work or healing and you move around the helix 360 degrees and there it is again. The difference is that in the journey around the circle you gained some altitude, like the threads on a screw. You are facing the situation again, but at a higher level since you have grown during the trip around the circle. The situation is the same, you are what is elevated. You bring more mastery and less attachment the next time around .
I had forgotten this lesson for myself. The reminder came in the form of some transformative breath work. The operating theory is that you suppress emotions by physically holding or restricting your breath as you exhale. The breath work focuses on regaining the healthy breathing pattern. It came as no surprise to me or the facilitator that the sadness and shame I felt for having “failed” to master my emotional reaction to the incidents at work came rushing out for healing.
The healing for me was the same healing I would recommend to my clients. Forgive yourself for being human, love yourself for being human. Recognize your upward progress on the helix. Give yourself credit for catching yourself in the act before you responded by behaving badly. Take time to grieve for the cost (loss) of your previous bad behavior. The appropriate response to loss is grief…
What else can we learn from this example? How about the strength of allowing yourself to be vulnerable? Remember compassion for yourself too?
humbled but healing,
I see having an inspiring message as having two main components. One is that you did something difficult, or arduous, survived a trial of some sort. The second part is that you want to tell others they can do it too.
I call it the healing and the calling. The healing is when you come to grips with the fact you are not your old story or limitations. You recognize something bigger than your ego defined self. In a single sentence “I’m getting myself free.”
The calling is when you realize you must share that healing as a possibility for others. You realize the next step is to make that truth known and available to others. You feel called to share the good news. In a single sentence, “And I’m taking you with me.”
Put together the message in its essence is,
“I’m getting myself free, and I’m taking you with me.”
As a returning attendee of an Inspiring Speaker workshop, I remember being impacted by the inspiring stories my fellow attendees. There is a theory in personal transformation that says if you see something in another person, you have that trait or characteristic yourself. If you spot it, you got it.
So I could say, with equal authority,
“You’re getting yourself free and your taking you with me.”
We are all getting ourselves free, and by sharing our journeys, we are taking each other with us.